Break Free From Milking Your Sorrows & Create a Magical Life w/Iva Paleckova

[00:00:00] J. Rosemarie: Today, I'm speaking with Eva Paleckova. Eva's going to talk to us about her life and also about business. And as we solar mom, sometimes we think of, we dream all the time. We set goals, but we don't always achieve them or believe that we can achieve them. First of all. I want to say, thank you for joining us, Eva. Welcome. [00:00:22] Iva Paleckova: Yeah, I'm happy to. [00:00:24] J. Rosemarie: Okay. So first of all, I always ask my guests the question. How did you become a solo [00:00:29] Iva Paleckova: mom? Yeah, let me bring you back to 2019. It's a, quite a bit of a story. Quite honestly, it was, I was already an entrepreneur doing that time and I'm a business coach. And at the time I was traveling around the country because I really love traveling. I'm doing a bunch of speaking, just small organizations, go to a female entrepreneur organization and I would do a little workshop 30, 40 minutes, and I would get clients that way, lots of traveling and it's, I've always been a free bird. I always injured travels. And this [00:01:00] was, I was honestly, this is 2019. Leading the dream life. I was traveling around my base was in Boulder, Colorado at the time, but I got an RV. I got to visit about 30 different states in the first half of 2019. I had my partner at the time we were traveling together. We had, I had my business coaching practice and we together, we were doing some spiritual coaching on the side too. And we were working on a book together. We were I was like, oh my goodness. The business, quite the dream life, I get to travel with somebody who is like into the same things that I'm into and he is a bit older, but we were just, it would just seem like we were on the same frequency into the same things, traveling together, coaching clients together. And in July 1st, 2019, I find that. Pregnant. And I was like, how's this? Didn't think this could get any better, because was, I've been trying to get pregnant years before I was married before it never happened. And it was [00:02:00] like, everybody knows the minute you give that up. Like all of a sudden, it happens right. When you don't expect it. So I was happy, but it was like I'll see him. Hopefully, he'll be as happy as I am. And so I was cautious. And he seemed okay with it two and four days later, it was the last time I saw him change. Yeah. Yeah. Changed his mind realized that parenting wasn't for him after all and moved to Japan. And I literally never heard from him again after that. Yeah. So just would not respond to an email is blocked me on social media. And I was like, okay. It's just, it was one of those things. Where we're in the situation. And I know, a lot of single moms, so listening to this and I went into this sort of shame spiral when I'm like, who is the kind of person this happens to? What does this say about me? I am one of those now I am the disaster. No, and it was so crazy because I worked my whole life to get rid of education at owned restaurants. Before I [00:03:00] have an MBA from top 15 university and my first son in relationship, such a mess. So it was really difficult. Emotionally. I was depressed. I was in the states where you're just sitting on a couch and you have no energy, no motivation, no inspiration. You can barely get up from the couch. And you're wondering, how am I going to rebuild myself when I feel like this? Mid 2019. My first trimester as a new single mom was very sad and awful. Yes. Just sitting and apathy and occasionally puking. That's how it was. And it was, and I accepted that. I was going to be a statistic. I started, I was like, okay, I'm going to have to go get some governments that said, go. I went and applied for WIC, which I'm not sure if you're familiar with that. It's basically food stamps for pregnant moms. And I could not get any child support [00:04:00] because he was nowhere to be found that I couldn't afford a lawyer. And I did, with my business, I went, okay, I'm going to try to transition it online because I could not do any of the speaking engagements anywhere I could not drive them. So I said, okay, let me try to build this business online. And a lot of entrepreneurs, fall into this let's create courses and funnels, categories, biggest mistake ever spend all the remaining money that I had saved up on Facebook ads, trying to build memberships and courses. So here I was right. And I think my sort of breakdown, biggest breakdown moment.I remember this day where I was like, okay, it's time to find daycare. And I decided to move to blow Colorado. I couldn't live in Boulder anymore because it was not affordable. As a single mom. Older is very expensive. So I moved to Pueblo. I said, okay, it's time to find daycare. And I found a daycare, it's a private daycare. And I go there and I did a tour. I went to the infant room to see what it looks [00:05:00] like. And there were five or six children just crying and screaming and one teacher and she wasn't happy. And I'm looking there. My heart just sank. And I wish I could tell you that. That was the moment I walked to ed and I said never.And I'm going to figure it out, but actually put down a deposit to hold. Spot for my future daughter in that daycare. And that was like, the moment I was driving home, I was like, oh yeah, this is how it's going to be in life. As a single mom is hard. And then I don't know when exactly it happened, but as the days went on, I started waking up from this.Finally, I had enough of my. So my sub story, because where we've become single moms, I think oftentimes we'll go into this self-pity oh my gosh, for me, like, how did this happen to me choosing this story? Because it was quite honest, it was very juicy. Like this guy abandoned me and that I know that, it's very juicy. And finally, when I start waking up and it started getting old at the [00:06:00] victim story and I started waking up and I remembered. Yeah. And we have that option any time to wake up. And remember, I started remembering and I said, wait a minute, what am I doing here? I always believed that anything is possible. Anything is possible, but we can't do that when we're choosing the victimization of single moms. I know, so I went to the Walmart and put a blow and I got myself a little whiteboard, eight and a half by 11, and I put it in my shower and I put C seven bigger single happy mom on that whiteboard. It was the first step we're actually committed. And I said, I'm going to stare at this every time I'm doing my hair conditioning treatment, I'm going to actually be a stand for myself. And I'm going to grade alive as a single mom that is magical. Nothing short of magical. I'm going to prove the impossible when it comes to being a single mom. Okay. [00:07:00] So that's how the journey started. And the brain, you said that or yourself as a challenge. Single mom is only in your vocabulary as a triumph. Nothing. Yeah, not a story to Jews, not something to be victimized about. And then it's a little ego-driven, but set it for yourself as I am going to literally do the impossible, right? Not just for my daughter. And show that it is absolutely possible. And I said, here are the things that I want. I want an abundance of money because I'm not going to stand in a line for two hours to apply for government support. And then that was just, yeah no, thank you. Abundance of time with my daughter, abundance of resources. I might be single. I didn't even have Amalie live in the country. My family is in Eastern Europe. I'm from Eastern Europe. I was in the US I don't have a single relative there. Right then in Pueblo, I was alone. No friends, nothing was a new town. The only one I could afford, but I said, I'm going to have an abundance of [00:08:00] resources and community and support and adventure. Just because I'm a single mom, not going to sit at home and stare at the walls, not happening. So here's how it went. Okay. I'll tell you where we're today. If you live in Costa Rica, we live in a beautiful place called Nasara, which is one of the five blue zones in the world. What that means is that they are five of the healthiest, happiest places where people live to be older than a hundred years. Regularly. It's absolutely beautiful how our life is. Speech morning on the beach evening on the beach. I have a full-time nanny that helps me take care of Lexi. When I'm working, you might hear them downstairs. That comes to my home. She helps me clean. She helps me cook. She makes us breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And does laundry. If I'm not working as a mom, I am not running around trying to do laundry because you cannot expect yourself to divide yourself into a million different pieces and do doodle perfectly. So there's some research that is needed. And since she was born in February, 2020 when she was three weeks old, we took [00:09:00] out the RV again, I got my mom to fly in the country and visit me, which turned out beautifully because COVID started. It's stuck in the country. I couldn't get back home. I was like, this is working on positive side. Yes. Yes. He was actually a perfect. And we went to visit Yellowstone Yosemite. We went to Sedona, we went to Joshua tree national park. We went to all these places. It was absolutely amazing. That. Sincerity and recovery. And I was doing that while building a business. I will tell you honestly, sometimes sacrifices have to be made. I did not have many money. Any money saved up for maternity leave, which means I had to provide a, had to work. I had no government support, child support, anything like that because I sat and waste my time on that.I'm not going to spend hours applying for like pennies over here. When I know if my put my focus over there on generating revenue and creating the life of a bunch of. The return on investment of time over here is about 2000 times higher, right? Yeah. So I started building an online business coaching [00:10:00] practice. And I started rolling people into my group program, which I launched a week and a half before Lexi was born. The smartest decision I ever made, because before that I was doing one-to-one coaching, but I wouldn't have had time for that. So launched the program and then started people adding people into it, running everything online. And it was a lot of. All right. People think it's easy. It is from me like a lot of people when they think about creating their coaching practice or whatever, they get stuck in their own fears and a lot of hiding and a lot of creating content behind the scenes instead of putting themselves out there. And I think for us single moms, the beautiful thing is when you literally are at the end of your rope and you have to make things work right, you don't have the luxury to be hiding. You have that podcast. You'd have to be at the party. It's you have to put yourself out there. You have to make offers. You have to book the sales calls. You have to convert the client. And then Bob passes all this procrastination, all this. I don't know if I can. So for [00:11:00] me, I will tell you honestly, being a single mom, becoming a single mom is the most empowering thing that has happened to me in my career. It got me out of excuses, out of comparison. Who am I to tell people I'm a business coach and all these other people are doing it better. When I was in, in October 2019, I had $700 on my bank account in the first quarter, in 2021, we had our first million-dollar quarter in our. And it's like, when you turn off when you can do through all, not turn off, but move through all the fears, all the fear of rejection, all the feeling like you're a fraud, like who am I to tell people in a business when I have this few clients, and you have to, because you have no other options, there's no guy coming to save you. There's no government coming to save you and you don't have other options than feel good. Keep your energy high. Otherwise you can't get. Yeah. Be happy now, not when you get the clients and you literally just put your head down and move [00:12:00] through all the fear and do it anyway. It was the biggest role that I can describe. And I cannot tell you how grateful I am. And now looking back, would I change anything? No, because now probably [00:12:12] J. Rosemarie: you probably got kicked in the butt, so to speak. [00:12:15] Iva Paleckova: A hundred percent and you know what? I look back at it and to be fair, I don't think that him being Alexi's father would have been the best thing. And I think he knew it. And now looking back, I have so much gratitude. I have the most amazing child. It's another thing. People don't believe me, but she sleeps through the night and she always did. Wow. Blessing. I know. And she's amazing. She's a really fun kid and she's amazing and just adorable. And I think he just knew, and I'm so grateful that I have this amazing child that I'd always wanted. And I have all the freedom in the world. I don't need to ask somebody permission. Can I go move to Costa Rica? We moved to three different countries since she was born. For permission, there's a lot of freedom for those single moms who don't have a code [00:13:00] para and just realize that you do have the freedom to create any kind of life you can, not everybody has that freedom. But there is there are advantages to that. Yes, she doesn't have a father and I have to deal with that. And just the conversation of how she going to feel about that or whatever. Although, she has a village around her. So much support. And so many people who love her things she would have had if we were just, the life that we're living before. [00:13:25] J. Rosemarie: And it's not only about knowing that because there's no one there's not a partner to confer with. We have to be free in our minds. We have to know in our minds that yes, you could pack up and leave you don't. Yeah. I remember when my husband left me with a two and a four-year-old, I knew in my mind I should have left.I didn't leave. I felt trapped. [00:13:47] Iva Paleckova: Aw. They to your face. [00:13:50] J. Rosemarie: Yeah. So it's sometime it's the mind thing, right? Yes, [00:13:53] Iva Paleckova: absolutely. I should [00:13:54] J. Rosemarie: have that. Eva is she's talking to us. You understand that she's an expert business and [00:14:00] mindset coach and that you're a best-selling author, but tell us about, [00:14:03] Iva Paleckova: yeah. That's an old book that I wrote in 2017 and writing a new book that is going to come out in this coming year. That is going to be all about freedom. That's the thing you just said, you have to be free in your mind. And that's another thing, like when I made that decision with a whiteboard in October, or in November 2019, it was also a decision to work on myself harder than I ever had. It was to let go of anything that didn't belong and free myself from all the limitations, yeah. We are so stuck, literally how it works is that we will do anything to keep ourselves from feeling the uncomfortable feelings and emotions we don't want to feel. So we will grab on to the last string of security of certainty that we think we have, whatever that is right. The wrong decision for us, [00:15:00] we try to control and hold on. And we look for that approval, right? We're constantly trying to get the feedback and the acknowledgement. And so long as we're doing these things, we're not afraid. Sometimes the divinity comes in and says, Hey, let's help you out. Let's kick this person out of your life so that you can see just how powerful and magical you are. And you are forced to cut these attachments. You no longer have an approval of that person. They're gone. There's no more approval. There's no more in a security, right? There's no work control now. You're like, you're there. So there's this oh my gosh what am I doing? Panic. And then we tried to solve it in other ways, instead of seeing it as what a beautiful blessing it is right at that moment, I knew it intellectually when he left that, I have a lot of trust in the divine that it always is working out perfectly as it needs to, but in that moment of struggling, we don't necessarily see it that way because. So our sense of safety is so [00:16:00] threatened in that moment, but that's exactly what needs to go. Our trying as trying to hang on to this false sense of safety. Meanwhile, ignoring this beautiful life that is quite here that is just asking for you to grab it and build it. But no we're so wrapped, approval and control and security and certainty that we wouldn't even say. Yeah, for anybody who might be freshly separated from their parent and the realization. Oops. See, I'm going to be single mom. Just know you might not be able to feel it right now because it is traumatic. It threatens everything. It threatens our existence. It's very traumatic in that moment, by just know that it is, you decide to, this is going to be the best gift, the biggest gift of your life that you can imagine. If you let it, if you let it. [00:16:49] J. Rosemarie: So is that the break free method you're going to write [00:16:52] Iva Paleckova: about? Yes. Yeah. I work with entrepreneurs, new entrepreneurs who are, who try to start their coaching practice. And I work with them on how to make [00:17:00] that happen. So a lot of them. I teach R or two-prong one, I teach about how to build your business with, to actually do, and specifically online coaching practice. I don't work with all entrepreneurs, just people who want to build a business similar to mine. Cause that's all I know,People basically want to help other people, but then working on the mindset component, which is a whole another. Cause what I found out I have worked with, I've probably over the last year, we have put over 10,000 people through my workshops and we have lots of clients. And what I discovered is that just telling people what to do on how to build their businesses, one thing, and most of them already know what to do. They have watched enough free workshops and trainings and read books and some of them don't, but it doesn't matter. Cause I can tell them and it doesn't move the needle. Because we're against Vermont. And against our fear of our own emotions. And there is all other things that are required for you to actually succeed. And one of them is actually increasing that same sense of [00:18:00] safety and security within yourself and within, yeah. Until you do that. You're not going to be able to handle the business and the children and whatever responsibilities come. So there's a lot, I run virtual retreats and lots of people come and sometimes they're, most of the times they're thrilled, it's free retreats, which means you get trolls from the internet and you get people sometimes being super rude. And if I did that at the beginning, in my. Career and, somebody said something rude to me. I would just want to crawl into a corner and cry, right? So there's this there's this like sense of safety. You have to start increasing as you build your, as you build your practice or your business and the emotional letting go to all these attachments and to, just letting go a ton of stuff. Traditional mindset or even therapy just doesn't do that for people. So I believe in like really hardcore spiritual work and by spiritual work, I don't mean poor, pour yourself over with [00:19:00] essential oils and surround yourself by crystals. That's not me at all. Like really heavy Judy releasing, being aware and letting go of anything that does not belong now, doing that while building your business like every day.It's not easy, but it's the most rewarding journey that I can imagine. And I just want to encourage any single moms that are listening or solo moms that are listening. It is an opportunity. It truly is. And you can create magic. There's some things that we need to be willing to do. I had to go get some credit cards and invest in myself and say, you know what? There's even little things like bang somebody to do laundry for me. Gives me time back so that I can do build this business. Having somebody cook for me, moving to Costa Rica, where it's birds, about four times more affordable to have the best childcare that I. So the little things like that, like being told it, open to how it's going to turn out, but also being very intentional about how I'm investing [00:20:00] my time. Because if I'm insisting, I'm going to do, I'm going to be the head of the household and take care of. Take care of my child and run a business. Like it's just not possible. Yeah, exactly. And if you don't have the energy. Then, I work out every day. I meditate every day I moved here because there was a lot of yoga and breath work and things like that. And that is also super important for us as single moms. Yeah. [00:20:25] J. Rosemarie: Yeah. For sure. I was going to ask you or your practice self care, but [00:20:29] Iva Paleckova: you have to, oh gosh, chin, like I think we all have this. This like whole ways have to release the guilt around that. Yeah, because there is this way you should spend every waking minute that you have. You're not working should be spending with your child but what they get is your energy. What the learning is your energy, how are you taking care of yourself? How do you feel? I would rather, I'm done with working. I would try to do a little bit of work, breath, work and meditation before I'm ready to [00:21:00] transition to be with my daughter. Right. [00:21:02] J. Rosemarie: Yeah. Yeah. [00:21:04] Iva Paleckova: And we don't like if we're working moms, working solo moms, like we don't, we're not going to be spending 12 hours a day with our kids. It's just not happening. And that's perfectly and completely okay. Yeah. [00:21:16] J. Rosemarie: Yeah, for sure. Wow. I really enjoy talking to you. Are they listening to you? And this will be of help, your conversation. This conversation will be of help to solo moms listening because a lot of times we need to hear when we already know we need to hear it. So tell me about your podcast. Yeah, [00:21:39] Iva Paleckova: of course. So it's got leaders. Okay. It's an iTunes and it's for entrepreneurs who are either starting, or we have a lot of listeners who have already had a business for a while and they want to know how to grow it. And it's where people like maybe one at all, they want the lifestyle. They want freedom of mind. [00:22:00] They want to feel good and they want to enjoy. Highlight enjoy being with their kids. Yeah. And we also do we also do retreats. I do these three retreats. When is coming up in January. There's anybody listening to it and you're going, I'd love to just learn more like taking my business it's for people who ready, take. To, get it going get it going, get it off the ground and make, at least a six figure income then it's definitely for them. So that would be. That would be leaders break free.com forward slash retreat is where they're going to [00:22:34] J. Rosemarie: find it. And that's probably where they need to start if they want to your coaching services, [00:22:39] Iva Paleckova: they, yeah. Yeah. Liters break, free.com. Put that on the shape. But I recommend everybody just the free retreat because Hey, it's free. It's seven days of. Just magic. Okay. Magic. Like we cover all the building blocks. It's just for online entrepreneurs who want to teach coach, or scale their [00:23:00] therapy practice or whatever. It's not, there's a lot of different businesses, so you could start, you can have a project business, you can sell stuff on eBay. It's not my expertise at all. Quite frankly. Yeah, but but for, for the moms who know that they want to help other people, they are passionate about transformation. Then it's probably. Yeah. [00:23:21] J. Rosemarie: Okay. Definitely. That sounds really helpful. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I admire you so much that it's so great that you're in one of my favorite countries, Costa Rica. That's where I like to be. [00:23:33] Iva Paleckova: Yeah. It's beautiful here. However, I will tell you that they're starting to shut it down, but there are restrictions, so we'll see how it goes. Fingers crossed. Yeah. Yeah, [00:23:45] J. Rosemarie: yeah. All right. Thank you Eva, for coming and talking to us today. [00:23:49] Iva Paleckova: No, I'm just really thankful for having me here. Thank you so much for the opportunity. It's, I really value it and I'm really thankful to be able to share my story and hopefully [00:24:00] it's inspired at least one person, if so, let me know. And [00:24:03] J. Rosemarie: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you very much for coming and talking today.