Empowering Solo Motherhood: Navigating Challenges, Video Making, and Living with Purpose w/Elisabeth Griffioen

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

00:00

So if you're struggling with, you know, trying to lose weight and you're not seeing the scale move, and it's frustrating and it's very time consuming and maddening, I would say.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

00:11

Tired, weary, frustrated. What would you be doing if you weren't raising children alone? What's stopping you from living your best life? Now, on Solar Mom's Talk, I discuss with Solar Mothers the challenges you face raising children alone. So if you're a working Solar Mom dealing with independent children, insensitive bosses, weight and health issues or even debt collectors, join us as we discover your path to get and stay healthy, increase your income and live with joy and purpose.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

01:10

My guest today is Elizabeth Griffin. Thanks for coming and talking to us on Solar Mom's Talk, elizabeth, I appreciate you Well, thanks for having me as your guest.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

01:19

Yes, for sure.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

01:20

It's my pleasure, all right. So before we talk about what you do, can you tell us who is Elizabeth Griffin?

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

01:29

Elizabeth Griffin is a mother and an entrepreneur and someone who loves video and making videos and, I think, someone who's succeeded in combining all that in the life.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

01:50

So are you a mother, are you a Solar Mom?

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

01:52

I'm a single mother by choice. My child's father is a donor whom I have never met, and I've been a 24-7 single mom for almost 13 years now.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

02:11

Wow, yes, okay. So choice or not, you got to share what are some of the biggest challenges of parenting solo.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

02:23

Oh, I think the well it's the it's the not being sure if you're doing the right thing. It's been a huge challenge, especially in the beginning, because, being a single mother by choice, you also know there's really no one else who cares as much as you do, and that's lovely though it is, it's very sad as well.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

02:47

So that has been hard. We had to take a break. So if you want to explain all the challenges or some of the more pronounced challenges you had raising your child alone, how old is your child now?

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

03:05

My son is 13 years old now. Okay, so he's 12.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

03:09

He'll be 13 in four weeks, you're still raising that young man. Okay, all right. So what are some of the biggest challenges?

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

03:18

I think the biggest challenge as being a single mother is even how great it is that it's possible, that it can be arranged, and that's a wonderful gift and it's been very special in my life. But it's also if you're a single parent by choice you're, you know that you are the only one who cares as much and there's really no one else to share that with, and that can be sad as well. So that has won, maybe challenge, but that has been a bit difficult, I think. Furthermore, there's no, it's 24, seven. So there, you can't ever walk out of the house and say I'm going for a walk or anything, that the responsibility is constant and that can be tiring and yeah, yes, yeah, especially if you're used to being single right.

04:10

I was, I was. I became a mother rather late in life, so I was used to being completely the boss of my own life. So it has been a big challenge to adjust to not being the most important person in my life anymore.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

04:25

Okay, well, we're going to move on. But I have one last question Divorce. I've been a solo mom. I mean I have three adult sons and I have interviewed a lot of women who are divorced or widowed or just single. That's how it happened, and all of all the difficulties that we encounter, the challenges as solo moms, why would you choose it? Why would you choose that life?

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

04:54

Well, you choose it because you don't know what's ahead of you. Really, if you make that choice, you're not sure. So I didn't know anyone else who had done that. I didn't have any example, but I well, to be honest, I thought I'm going to try this and we'll see what happens. And well then it's sort of harder. You don't easily stop. So that's has been why I started it, not exactly knowing what was ahead of me.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

05:24

Yeah.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

05:25

Also really happy that it worked.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

05:27

Yes, okay, all right, thank you. I've always seen that single mom by choice and I've never asked that question, so I wanted to hear what you had to say about that. All right, so you're. So tell us what you do. Explain. You mentioned video, and I see on your profile that you're into video making, which can be a personal thing, but it also can be professional. So tell us about video making from personal point of view and also from you know, a mom-per-near point of view.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

06:06

I started making videos when I was a student. I studied history and, as a sort of a hobby, I started making videos and I really, from the first second that I had a camera in my hands, I was in love with it. I was really. I was making videos all day and night and I could, so it was really a big hobby for me. And then I was looking for a job and someone said, well, why don't you work for TV? And I thought, well, is that for me? And I applied and I were actually working for television as a video editor and later on, as a director and a producer, and that was my life and it was very something different every day, some of the different plays every day.

06:48

I traveled half the world and I made and you are disappearing, but maybe that's not the problem, okay, sorry, I traveled the world with camera crews and I have seen a lot of people ask a lot of questions and made a lot of television programs and it was, in one way, a very free life, because it's different all the time and you get to see behind the screens and many companies and with many people and, on the other hand, you're not the boss of your own life, because it's always dictated by the producers, by the companies, by the television broadcasters. And I was getting a bit fed up with that life and I wanted to have this baby. So that all came together and, instead of choosing to be always working, always on the go, I wanted a different life. I wanted to stay at home, I wanted to have a family, and with that came that I couldn't really combine it so good with the work I was doing, because you can't drop everything and travel to Peru in a moment's notice if you have to pick up your kid from daycare at six o'clock. So that made it really difficult. So I found myself with the baby and having to actually having to look for a new way to earn the mortgage.

08:14

So that was a bit. I knew it was coming, of course, but it was also very scary. And there was one thing I was good at and that was making videos. So I did try to go into web designing at first. So I thought, oh, it's a way I can work at home. And then I got very tired of the thought of having to learn a new trade all the way and have to make all the beginner's mistakes and I thought I'm going to do something with video.

08:43

But I was also. I was very shy. I was at home a lot and I didn't know a lot of people. I only knew television people. So I really didn't know how to build a company and the thought of being very visible also scared me and I was like, oh, all my colleagues are going to see me. But then in the end I did step from behind the camera to in front of the camera to do some video marketing and I loved that. Apparently, I really liked that because I could step on my own podium and say my opinions and everything and all the things I had kept in all the time when I was working for TV. So it felt like a kind of freedom to be visible and to be in front of a camera instead of behind it. And I did manage to build a business actually doing that.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

09:43

Okay, so now you know what it's like to be in charge.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

09:48

And also it was actually really the only way I could build it, because I could do it from home.

09:56

Yes, yes, my son was asleep and I was just here in this room I took a painting of the walls. I had like a white wall and I had a very small video camera, a very old microphone and one light and I was I didn't breathe at all, I think, during all these recordings. At first, yeah, and I didn't blink or anything because I was really scared. But with one video at a time it got better and I noticed that if you do it that way, you're in charge of the way people see you. Yes, and you get to be in charge of the work you do and the people you work with, and I thought that was. I think more of a single mother should do that.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

10:43

Yes.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

10:44

Instead of hiding, step out into the world in a way that you can do from home.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

10:51

Yes, absolutely, and we seek that. But I think sometimes we are a little like you know, you were at first we're a little scared, and so, yeah, thank you, thank you for sharing that. So how do you help others with your love for video making? And from the perspective of you know, like you just said, you think other solo moms should seek out doing something like that, stepping in front of the camera, maybe not just making video, but maybe talking about who they are as a person or sharing their expertise.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

11:30

Yes, sharing expertise is the way to make yourself known as the. I'm looking for the word because probably some words in English escape me, but if you're good at your job, it's also lovely to talk about it, and then you radiate your enthusiasm, and that's really the only thing you need.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

11:54

Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, sure, Okay. So how do you help someone like who wants to follow in your footsteps, so to speak?

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

12:07

I usually help a solopreneur mostly, and they can be very different. Some have a web shop, some have an actual shop, some teach, some people train dogs and other and there's also lots of coaches, but also mediators, I think. Puppeteers, artists, lots of different solopreneurs work with me and I teach them how to well first think of what to say, and then what you need technically and how do you film and edit videos and then post them. So it's all through, the whole way through, and especially now, I focus more on teaching people how to work with YouTube.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

12:49

Okay with YouTube. Yeah, okay, cool, all right, and how can we get in touch with you?

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

12:55

You can get in touch with me through. Well, I do have a YouTube channel. Okay, I'm not surprised it's called Top of Mind Video Marketing and also my name, so Elizabeth Griffin, we say, and the company is called Top of Mind Video Marketing, so it's easy to find, I think.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

13:16

Okay, I need to spell your last name, elizabeth. I messed it up, but G-R-I-F-F-O-E N, i-o-e-n, i-o-e-n, g-r-i-f-f-i-o-e-n. So it's Top of Mind. Video Marketing Okay, yeah, all right, and any website or you learn Instagram.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

13:38

I'm on Instagram, I have a website and it's all the same name. So, yeah, easy to find.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

13:44

Okay, sure, we'll put those links in the show notes. So what is Elizabeth grateful for today?

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

13:52

I'm great it's summer now and it's almost two more weeks. Me and my son are going on a little vacation and I'm really looking forward to that, and I'm very grateful that this for my son, the summer holidays have started, because well we're at home together and I do some work and he does some gaming, and then sometimes we have lunch together. So it's really nice to be at home now. Yeah, that's very well. I'm very grateful before now.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

14:21

Oh, pretty cool. Yeah, all right, and one piece of advice for a solo mom. Anything A piece of advice.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

14:37

Oh, I have a hundred in my head now. It's really hard to choose. We have time. I think the first one that comes to mind now is getting trying to sleep whenever you can if the kid's small and I noticed because I found it hard to because I couldn't do any. I wanted to work and do lots of stuff, but my kid didn't really well. Now he's fine with it, of course, because now he has an iPad and everything. So that's one piece of advice.

15:07

It gets easier when they get bigger. That has I think you can agree with me on that. Yes, so that gets easy, but he was, I think, three or four. We already had this arrangement that at some time in the day we would stop talking for half an hour and, let's say, when the hand of the clock is on this number, then we start talking again and I could have some quiet time and I really needed that. That has been a big help, but for the most, I think, having just two people in the house and it's very harmonious as well, yeah, because we work together, yeah, so well. And sometimes people say to me oh, you don't have to have discussions with your spouse about which decisions to take, and they get there and sort of jealous of me. That's, of course, the other side of it.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

16:11

Yes, yes, that's also a scary side as well, yeah.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

16:19

It's a scary and a positive side, because you don't know if you're doing the right thing with your well, actually, you never know if you're doing the right thing, that's right. So there's one other thing I'm really grateful for is that I, two years ago, I made a choice to send them to a different school, and now I know it has been a really good choice. So I took a lot of time from my sleep because I was worrying about it at night, but now I know it's been the right choice.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

16:47

Yeah, I'm very happy about that. Yeah.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

16:52

So again, a stick with your intuition would be another one.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

16:55

Yes, yeah, thank you. Thank you for sharing that because, yeah, we sometimes have difficulty with the decisions we make, because we're wondering if we made the right decision, we second guess everything and you know it's just a messy loop.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

17:12

So yeah, thank you. Yes, and it's hard to ask advice from people, yes, and in the end I didn't take any advice I got. I used to ask advice, but then I did not do what people advised me. But it helped me to talk about it, I think.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

17:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you get that intuition, as you say, and how to.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

17:35

So yeah, the stuff you just know. Yeah, that's usually right.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

17:41

Yes, yeah, got it Okay. Thank you very much, elizabeth, for coming and speaking to us today. Anything else? Any parting shots? Parting shots? Yeah, I like to use that.

Elisabeth Griffioen

Guest

17:56

When I was young, I never thought I would be a single mom by choice, because I thought that was a really sad thing to do, but it turns out to be the best thing I've ever done in my life. Yeah, in the Netherlands it's not even so difficult to arrange it, so I was happy about that too. I don't know what it's like in other countries, and I have never had bad reactions or negative reactions about it at all, so and I know 50 years ago that this wasn't possible anywhere in the world, right.

J. Rosemarie (Jenn)

Host

18:36 Yeah, I guess it helps that society doesn't judge you just because you, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, all right, thank you. I appreciate you coming and talking to us and I hope one day you'll come back and when your son maybe he's 20, son, you can come oh that would be awesome.