How to Empower Self-Defense & Personal Growth w/John Brewer

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Chances are, the reason you are raising your children alone may have been because you were in danger in your last relationship. In this episode, John Brewer talks about how to keep yourself safe and how to protect yourself. This may be the episode for you if you want to be strong, not just physically to protect and defend yourself, but also emotionally as well. Tired J. RosemarieHost00:29 Weary, Frustrated. What would you be doing if you weren't raising children alone? What's stopping you from living your best life? Now, On Solar Mom's Talk, I discuss with Solar Mothers the challenges you face raising children alone. So if you are a working Solar Mom dealing with independent children, insensitive bosses, weight and health issues or even debt collectors, join us as we discover your path to get and stay healthy, increase your income and live with joy and purpose. J. RosemarieHost01:29

John Brewer is an Army Special Forces veteran whose upcoming book Fight for your Best Life is a complete guide to safety and security and provides the foundation to fulfill safety needs so individuals can focus fully on life goals and aspirations. Welcome, john.

Thank you for having me.

Yeah, so I wanted to talk about that. I wanted to start with that so we could get a feel as to what this interview may cover. But before we get into what you do, tell us who is John Brewer.

So I'm John Brewer. I actually spent 10 years well, just tried 10 years in active duty in Army Special Forces. Then I came over to the National Guard for three years and then just recently got out and since then I've been writing the book, obviously, and then also trying to start a startup for self-defense consulting which is more of like I'd say I call it consulting because it's more professional sounding, but it's really more of like life coaching and kind of that mentorship aspect for individuals who might need a little bit more tailored instruction rather than just getting information from a book or online resources.

Right, okay, all right, so thank you, thank you for that. So, now that we've talked about that, I want you to tell me what is the purpose of the book, of the upcoming book. I think that targets our topic right yeah.

So the purpose of the book is really to give people a foundation and safety and security that might not have a background to it, which most people wouldn't be except for what we either learn on TV or something like that. But so it's really just to give people a broad overview of it. It's kind of a complete overview, from start to finish, of self-development, all the way until what could happen after the fact and kind of that emotional aspect that goes along with it. But truly it's also. The inspiration for the book came from Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, which identifies certain needs that need to be fulfilled before you're able to actually reach life goals. And obviously it's a theory, but I think it's a good framework for people to meet the basic needs and then next would be safety and security, and then obviously from there it's relationships and things like that. So I really want to give people the tools to meet that safety and security so they don't have to worry about it and they can live a healthy life free from harm and threat of harm.

Okay, All right, Thanks. So obviously, when you think of being in the armed forces, we think people who are in the armed forces are able to defend themselves and we mere mortals unless we had training, we wouldn't be able to defend ourselves. But in this respect you're talking about empowerment, right?

Correct.

04:40

Okay, yeah, and I'm more so trying to make that connection between self-defense and transferable skills.

04:47

And what I mean by transferable skills is skills that you can be developed through self-defense training and things of that aspect, but then can be used on other aspects of your life, whether it be professional career, your personal, what's going on at home and stuff like that, because a good example of that is problem solving. It's something we all do, something we've done since childhood, but it is something that you take a different perspective of it when you are in that kind of safety and security type of atmosphere to where problems become much more complicated. There are also life and death situations. And then, if you take that model and then you take it to normal everyday life and I use the example in the book about figuring out what to eat for dinner, which sometimes can lead to arguments and personal lives, and so I make that connection because in safety and security and training for self-defense, there are transferable skills that then also help you out in normal everyday life and it doesn't have to pertain to life or death situations.

Right, okay. So yes, I understand that I am picking that up from our conversation. So, and that relates the self-defense to self-development, I can see that, but I want to actually hone in on our audience, which are solo moms, and a lot of solo moms are solo moms because they were in an abusive relationship and hindsight's 20, 20 of them, I think, man, I wish I could hit back or something, but it's not all about that. So give us some pointers for someone who may be still in that defensive mind frame of how they can conduct themselves in a way that they can defend themselves, not just physically but, you know, in a normal life situation.

Yeah. So the first thing is to know yourself, know your strengths and limitations, because obviously we all have strengths and we all have limitations, and when it comes to defending yourself you really have to rely on your strengths, because in these situations there's such a risk and a chance that things can go wrong that if you relied on something that you're not completely comfortable with, then things can fall apart really quickly. So it all comes back to knowing what you can do best, and that can be a variety of skills, but also having that confidence and that ability to use those tools that you might have. And then from there it's more so about awareness, so awareness of what's going on in your internal self, whether that struggles or whatever else, and then also your external environment, which in this case we might be talking about domestic violence or perhaps something with the kids or something along those lines. And so just having that awareness and being able to identify that problem very quickly. And then then from there you start to create that kind of plan like we were talking about before problem solving and putting a plan of action in place to kind of put distance between you and your that problem, or maybe come up with a plan of action to actually confront that problem or whatever it might be, because there are different course of actions that you can actually take throughout these whole situations. But, like I said, that's all tailored to your strengths and limitations and really using your bread and butter, so to speak, to make sure that you have the best case scenario and make it easier on you.

08:16

So, going back to the domestic violence piece, domestic violence is so. It's such a problem because one it has that emotional attachment to it and obviously a lot of people who are in those types of situations they don't. It's very easy outside, looking in, to be able to see hey, just remove yourself from that situation. But since those individuals do have an emotional attachment, it's very hard to sever that emotional attachment and be able to separate yourself from that. So I'd say that's where that awareness piece comes in, to gain a perspective outside of your own, to really understand that, hey, this is a problem for me. It's not only a problem for me, but it's a problem for my kids as well. And obviously, being sticking in this situation is just going to cause further problems and might escalate to a particular situation to where there might be a life or death risk, and so that's why that awareness piece, especially for domestic violence, is such a key factor.

Yes, thank you. Okay, so tell us what you do for your potential clients. What is it you offer?

Yeah, right now I have three kind of packages that I'm working with.

09:35

One is just kind of like a a la carte session, to where people come in and whatever's on their mind we speak about, and then we come up with a plan of action to kind of either boost their ability, confidence, whatever else, and maybe create safety plans for certain situations.

09:50

The other one is a bit more self-developmental, focused to where it's more of a package, to where it's six sessions that kind of follow the outline of the book but it's all tailored to the individual person.

10:01

So it's making sure that each section of the book that's covered is then tailored to that individual one, within their needs and and what situations are actually going through. And then my last one is more of a I'm going to start a train the trainer type, of course, so that when I teach these individuals you know how to develop themselves. I'm also going to teach them how to become a mentor, so to speak, and be able to teach their family members, friends, you know, anybody close to them, the same type of concepts and training methods that we would focus on in the consultations. So it's more of a train the trainer type of really branching out that network and making sure I'm reaching as many people as possible, even if it's not directly through me, because I definitely want to be able to give people the tools to be able to teach others the same type of strategies and methodologies.

Right, okay, all right, thank you. I like the third concept where yeah, train the trainer, because that would really help someone like you know, like a mom who's on her own and maybe a little bit nervous about her situation, gain some confidence. So I think that one, I like that one.

So what is John?

grateful for sorry. Go ahead go ahead.

Yeah, and I just want to say, you know, that is truly the kind of the background of what I did in the military, which was when we went overseas.

11:27

We had our you know, our mission sets that we would do to combat you know, at the time it was ISIS but at the same time we're also training individuals that live in those areas, indigenous forces, and that's that's our whole model of where, you know, we can only do so much as a as a, you know, an army coming in, and whether or not we're going to be there for a long period of time, we know that eventually we're going to leave, so we're going to have to leave them the tools and resources and and knowledge to be able to take care of themselves. So that's where that whole mindset comes from. Is that, you know, I can only do so much as an individual, but if I can allow, enable and empower people to become trainers themselves, then that increases my reach and it does have a greater impact. So that's why I do believe in train-to-trainer type of courses and things like that yeah, cool.

Oh, do you plan to offer any physical training in the future?

yeah, so yeah, the goal is to eventually grow to the point where I can have physical locations and then that way we can start having.

12:32

You know, it'd be kind of like a recreational center, and that's kind of my vision for it.

12:35

It's a community center, it's a place for people to come in and train whatever skill sets they need to train, whether it's you know, combatives like jujitsu, karate, taekwondo, but also, depending on what states you're in, stuff like that, if it's you know, able to carry a firearm, there should be a range there for people who do want to use firearms for their safety plans.

12:55

And then also I do I'm very big on scenario based training. So I'd like a facility to where I can start to implement scenario based training so that I can put people in these situations in a very controlled environment and then run these scenarios, because the more scenarios you can run, either in your mind or you know wherever, yet the easier it becomes when you are presented with a life you know, real life situation, because you've already ran through that scenario in your head and nothing is a surprise, everything kind of has a formula to it and you're able to then combat it with more ease and you're not as stressed out about it, because it feels I mean, you're not going to be comfortable, comfortable, but you're going to be more comfortable in the fact that you've already kind of thought about those particular situations. So that is, that is the vision. It's going to take a little bit of time to get there, but but that is exactly what I would like to happen right, it makes sense.

It would be a good transition, I think, from the self-development and I'm always thinking like a woman having someone who's having been someone who's been a victim of domestic violence. I think the training is it's not just enough to go out and learn to fight, you know, physically it's good to develop wisdom in whatever thought pattern you have. So, yeah, I see the future in that, thank you. So what is John grateful for today?

my healthy kids, I'd say. Actually I have a she's about to be two-year-old daughter, and then we have one on the way, due in August, early August, so it's actually very, very close now and so that is. You know, once I had kids, that changed a lot of my focus and priorities, and so I'd say you know that right there is is what I'm grateful for today and every day actually yeah, pretty cool.

Thank you and congratulations on the upcoming yes, sure, all right. So is there one piece of advice and you can elaborate as much as you want that you could give to an individual, a solo mom about the thought process or any other advice in self-defense and self-development? It's been.

I'd say first and foremost that, whether you believe it or not, you are one of the strongest, most willful person there can be on this earth, because my mom was a single mom since I was in the third grade. My dad was still around, but obviously they were separated. What I've noticed and I've only had a week where I was a single parent because my wife went on a work trip I realized right then and there how much work is involved with balancing everything, and not to mention, if there's something, if I had a hardship in my life that I was going through, that's going to be the icing on the cake and that would have made things that much more difficult. What I'd say, first and foremost, is that just going through the situations that you've gone through has already made you a stronger person, more so than a lot of individuals that have ever lived or gone through other situations. I also would compare it to the military, quite frankly, to where the certain training and environments that I've been in they've kind of hardened me in a way, and then, at the same time, the situations and experiences that single moms have gone through have done the same.

16:31

And so, like I said, whether you believe it or not, you do have that kind of that strong will nature and I do believe that if you just believe in that, that's going to take you to places further than what you would thought possible.

16:45

And that goes into safety and security, knowing that you can take care of yourself, knowing that, if you needed to, you could protect your kids in a certain situation. And really it's just about believing that you have that skill set and you have that ability already. Obviously it can be refined, but at the same time I do believe that single moms do have that foundation and that kind of instinctual gut sort of speak to be able to provide that, whether they have training or not. And I would just say that training would just refine it just a little bit more so that when it comes to those certain situations, there's no what's the word I wouldn't say like risk, but there's no doubt that you're going to have a better outcome, especially when you're putting all those resources into it, you're putting all the knowledge that you've gained and really just making sure that you have the best outcome possible.

Okay, all right, thank you. I appreciate that I'm very insightful. All right, so tell us how we can get in touch with you and tell us when the book will be released so we can kind of have a lookout for it, anything, yeah?

Yeah, so my main website is mindshieldandspearcom and that's the consulting company. So the consulting company is MindShield and Spear Consulting Group and, like I said, that's actually going to officially launch when the book launches. Because everything gets tied in together, the book will go live, hopefully. I'm looking at September 12th to be the launch date.

Okay.

If it's not the exact date, it'll be around there, but it'll be available on Amazon and probably a few other venues. But Amazon is going to be the main and then, like I said, everything's kind of tied in together. So if you do want information on one or the other, my website's a good source. I do have a Facebook group for the book itself it's facebookcom slash fight for your best life. And then, yeah, if I do have a LinkedIn page, but that's more so for like professional collaboration, but if there you do have absolutely listeners or audiences that do have that professional piece that they can add to the equation, then I'd definitely like to have a conversation with it as well. But, like I said, mindshieldandspearcom is going to be the main resource for people for what's coming out now and what's coming out in the future Because, like we spoke about, hopefully there is going to be those additional pieces that come along.

Yes, for sure. So right now we can access your website for future information. Okay, yeah.

And, depending on when this airs it is, my website is getting revamped as we speak, so right now there's a version of it and then probably around late August timeframe is when the new updated version is going to be more streamlined version, so to speak. So but yeah, it is still all be up and still kind of have the same resources. Just have a different look during that time period.

Okay, all right, so we'll put the link in the show notes so people can keep up the date with that. Thank you very much, John Brewer for coming and talking to us on Solomon's Talk. Any parting shots?

No, I just say believe in yourself, believe that you know best when it comes to you and your children, and I think that takes you, that could take you any place and get you going where you need to go.

Okay, thank you, bye.

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