How to Transform Your Health Through Better Sleep w/ Bijoy John

J. Rosemarie : 0:00 The topic of today's episode is near and dear to my heart. I've struggled with sleep all my life, from the time I was a teenager, but when I became a solo parent, especially when I was parenting my two youngest sons, I barely slept and it affected my health. Maybe you can relate this conversation. Solo mom is for you If you or someone in your family is not getting enough sleep. Be sure to check out Bijan's seven tips for getting better sleep. Sleep now is his mantra, so check it out. Leave me a comment, follow this podcast and subscribe, Thank you. My guest today is Bijoy John. Welcome to solo mom's talk, Bijoy. I'm happy to have you. Bijoy John: 1:05

Great to be here, Jen. Let's go. The sleep is a passion of mine. I want to share it with everybody. J. Rosemarie : 1:10 OK, awesome, All right, but before we talk about what you do because what you do is very important, especially solo moms Tell us who is Bijoy John Bijoy John: 1:23 Well, so I'm a both certified sleep specialist. My back now is also pulmonary and intensive. Yeah, I did that for 25 years in my interest in sleep group and I'm seeing this. I call this a new pandemic of sleep problems. Nobody is sleeping. So I see this day and day out and I said, let me. I found the joy in sleeping. I found to my own struggles. I perfected this art for the last 25 years and I've made it work. It works for many people, so let me just put it in writing. So it has been two and a half years in the making. So I decided to write a book called Nobody's Sleeping. My passion is sleep. I've discovered the joy of sleeping and I want to share it with as many people as I can. J. Rosemarie : 2:04 OK, all right, Thank you, but you didn't just happen to just start thinking about sleep. What happened? Why are you focused on sleeping? Bijoy John: 2:16 Yeah, so from a very young age my mom actually taught me how to sleep. She forced me to have a schedule, she forced me to take naps. Then what happened? Men's school happened and you never were sleeping. It was messed. You know you stay up the test anxiety. You think you sleep extra. You know if you stay up extra and without sleeping you're going to perform better. But I see every time I do that it was a mess. So there was an early, you know, late 80s where the sleep was not much. But then I said exams are going to be a part of my life, so I'm going to still sleep. So I stopped preparing a few days earlier and I started focusing on sleep and actually scored better. And I said, wow, this is something you know, nobody, it's not in the med school curriculum about sleep, but you know now it's becoming. So I knew the impact of sleep at that, you know, from the very early age and I lost my mom. It was a mess. I couldn't sleep. I don't agree for VEX. So I had to find a way through it. Then I started, you know, branched out and started my own practice and then I was, like you know, couldn't sleep the major problem with most business owners. I said I got to find a way for that too. So in my stages of struggling then I said I have to perfect this art. And then I grew up with children, you know, and they go to college, they're not sleeping. So I implemented with them too. So you know different ages, we go through different. You know problems, and especially women is so it's in the wands from the monthly period so it affects sleep to having a being pregnant, to raising children and then finally, when things are in control, women are taking menopause and that's it. It's done after that. So it's a big topic. It affects different stages of our life and you know, and I think we have to optimize to be at our very best- yes, yes, so you used the word optimize. J. Rosemarie : 4:11 When I was younger, I was one of those Taipei people. So I thought too, I was no, it was good enough. And then I had kids and got into my forties I realized I was dragging during the day. I mean, what gives what? What can you tell us that affects the way our body handles more sleep or less sleep? I mean, can you explain that what I just laid out to you? Bijoy John: 4:40 And I've heard this from many people, everybody you know we compromise on our sleep. Just imagine if you don't sleep one hour per night at any one week. You're not slept the whole night. See so we're compromising, we're walking around with a sleep death. Our brain is a complex process, so it needs rest and then it can function at its best. Just by compromising two or three or one hour, you're actually reducing your performance. In the United States for 2017, just by not showing up at work because of being sleepy, it costs $470 billion with a bee. So that's the impact of sleep, not to mention the errors that we that could happen from poor sleep. So it erodes you slowly. That's the problem with that. With sleep, you know it doesn't hurt like a toothache or grow like cancer. You take it lightly. But with time you are, you're slowly, you know, became from inside out. You know I can see somebody who doesn't sleep by there the shape of their eyes, the skin, and they have more cardiovascular problems, diabetes problem, mental fog, all by not sleeping well. So there you have it. J. Rosemarie : 5:50 So it catches up with you eventually, right?

Bijoy John: 5:53 Yes. J. Rosemarie : 5:54 Okay, all right, thank you. So I'm going to have a book and I want you to tell us about it and how it you know why we should go buy it. Bijoy John: 6:05 So there are many books for sleep, you know. You know there's a children's book. There's, you know, insomnia book. There's books or months, but there's none for the whole family. See for me, if the child's not sleeping, the parents are not sleeping, if the older adults are not sleeping, you know the family's not sleeping. I said, just like diet and exercise, this should be a family affair. You know, I have used, you know my own experience as a practicing real doctor, taking care of patients and finding and refining. So I you know, first of all you have to identify your sleep problems and then you have to come to a solution. Why? Just not, you might have many problems why you're not sleeping. So I address all that and then I give the seven proven sleep strategies. I also have an acronym for that. It's called sleep now to help solve the problem. So this is for the whole family and everybody can benefit from it. In a chapter dedicated for children and teens, older adults, women, athletes, you can prove your word. So I have a chapter for all different ages of our lives. J. Rosemarie : 7:15 Okay, so you address each person as you were talking. I saw a little clip on TikTok this morning and it was a little baby and she was teething and but she couldn't, so she couldn't sleep and she was laying next to her dad who wanted to sleep and couldn't sleep because the baby kept going grrrr, grrrr to, to, you know, soothe her gums. I remember that because but we all have trouble sleeping, not just individually, but as families, depending on our, our dynamics, right? Bijoy John: 7:51 Yeah, so you know, in couples are sleeping separately. It's all sleep. Divorce from the snoring from the man. You know the men snore more because you know the the larynx of a man is bigger. So imagine a trumpet through the airpipe and then the it gets amplified in the in the base of the trumpet. So that's what's happened with men. So people are sleeping separately. My aim is to bring couples together to treat the problems that that that is there cause them to sleep separately. I hear that. Okay, thanks All right. J. Rosemarie : 8:18 So what do you do for your clients? I know you you're promoting the book that will help us in some way shape our form. But do you do coaching? Do you help individuals or families one on one, and how does that work? Bijoy John: 8:40 I do that in my clinic. You know you're all licensed in the states where people come and see me. But you know, to help more people, I have a sleep now course on my website, sleep fix academycom. So people can, you know, just register for the course and take the online course and also have a lot of free material, free stuff and also a podcast there so people can listen and empower. So once you have knowledge, you won't act on it. Everybody knows about the sleep problems and we have to to work good. You know we have to work good. You know we have to work good, Work good to get it. Sleep is an art. You know it's contrary to the hustle culture. We hustle and hustle and hustle, but sleep is an art. You have to work at it to get it gently. And that's what I have discussed and, and you know I want to share it with many. J. Rosemarie : 9:28 Okay, thank you. So give us I give us all a mom three tips for getting better sleep. Bijoy John: 9:36

All right, so we're going to give you an upgrade more than that. There's seven things Okay.J. Rosemarie : 9:41 That's the best way. Bijoy John: 9:42

So it's called sleep now. So all the viewers who are listening, they can write now cell EEP and oh so that's the acronym. So the first is the, as is the schedule. So for every plan to succeed you have to have a schedule right. So the best time to go to sleep is between 10 pm and 6 am. So what happens with people if they go to bed at 10, they can't sleep till midnight. Guess what they do? They go to bed early. Now they're starting from 9 pm To midnight, so three hours. So the bedroom becomes a torture chamber. So I tell people, if you can sleep to 11, 30, go to bed around 11 30 and then. But you have to wake up at 6. So that's the schedule. Some, you know, when I start the schedule on, folks ages absolutely don't like me Because they are like you know they don't sleep the whole night. But the key is I'm trying to build a sleep that here. So once you do that for two weeks you will be surprised. You start sleeping better. So once you get to sleep at 11 30, you can move to 11, 15 and then 11, and then you know 10, 30 and so forth. So but you have to make sure you wake up at, you know, 6 am, so this is called sleep restriction. It works for most people, but it's not recommended for people who have significant psychological issues. You know you have to sleep more dead. Sleep Restriction works Greatly and the rest of us, and we're doing this for many, many years. So the next is L is in the acronym is low light, low noise, low temperature. Melatonin, the hormone that makes the sleep, is only secreted in in darkness and you know low temperature melon means darkness. So it's important to have, you know, low light. And then, you know, make sure your bedroom is dark. And you know the noise affects your sleep and also the temperature. You can slow it out, the experiment between 65 and 70. That's why when people are traveling Tropical climates they don't sleep well because they develop on and it's not secreted right now. The next is the big one is electronic. I tell people no electronics, at least 30 minutes prior to go to sleep. Because when you are laying in bed, especially when there is no ambient light, the light from the cell phone just goes inside, you know, goes through your eyes and tells the brain and it's still daytime. So melatonin does not secrete in bright light. So you know at least 30 minutes, right, and also don't have your cell phone close to you, make sure it's a little bit far away. I have it in my bathroom next next to me. So so even in the middle of the night when you wake up you don't look at the time there's things notification people wanting you, texting you. You're not tempted to you all wake up. You know at least once or twice at night, because that's the way you know that the rhythm is built. You know we change through different sleep cycles and then when you look at their phone, it's done you game over. So I keep it far away. I send an alarm for six and able to wake up. Any other questions so far? Jen, you have any questions?

J. Rosemarie : 12:30 No, I'm actually listening to you and going like this, because I can totally relate. Bijoy John: 12:39 So keep it away and set an alarm, and you know you don't want to. You know some people wake up to use you and I wake up to use the restroom. Then I'm not looking at anything, I'm keeping the sleep shape, I call it and go back to bed. So that's the the next is called exercise. Exercise generates heat Remember there's not a secret when there's more temperature. So I tell people to exercise at least four hours prior to going to sleep. If you have exercise, you know the heat that we generate and also the endorphins so it creates is not good for sleep. So then the SLEP P is power of your mind. So I'm trying to give the chance for the body to have, or your mind to power off. But you have to calm your body. You know you have to give a chance, not have yourself on, which is going to wrap up your mind. So we want sleep to be an all enough switch. But sleep is a dimmer. You have to work it. There's no fast way to do it. So that's why most people are struggling, because we want everything in the hustle culture. So I teach two techniques to power off your mind. What is called vivid imagination. What you do is you use your, you know we. What we do is we take reality to the bedroom. But I don't want that. We want the abstract. So last night I was the show on Dune. I started thinking the director, what's going to happen next? I create my own imagination. I've been doing this for 30 years and then I'm not. I'm not taking my problems. I got to get ready for the, the solo mom stock. I resolved all that before I come to bed. I'm thinking my own imagination, not taking reality and also teach people to do yoga and need to. It's very easy Need to means nothingness. That's what that word is. You just lay down with your hands up like a corpse and you start thinking about nothing and you start focusing on your muscles, on your scalp and your face and your neck, and then you go down and scan. This is combination of the company, the behavioral therapy coming in your mind. But you're giving your mind a chance. You don't have your phone, you don't have heat, you don't have a large meal you eat, so you're giving a chance. So without that you can't do it right. You can't just borrow your mind. Hey, phone's now getting text messages coming. You can't do that right. But the next is no to worries, in acronym NO. So I tell people we all worry, we worry, I tell people to worry from 6pm to 8pm at night to resolve everything. I texted them, emailed you last night around that time and say, hey, we'll see you tomorrow and I was done at 8pm so I'm not taking that worries to bed. I worry. Between that, I dedicate time. If I'm not able to solve that, I write it down for the next day. So, that's it. And the last is the W win by losing. So you can win, win, win in life with sleep. You can win, win, win with everything else, but in sleep you have to lose yourself and take it easy and follow all this. That's the sleep now. Acronym schedule low light, low noise, low temperature and no to electronics at least 30 minutes. And then exercise, and no to exercise at least 4 hours prior. And the power of your mind. No to worries and win by losing. That's my acronym and it's worked well and I've protected this art and I'm sharing it with everyone. J. Rosemarie : 15:51 That's pretty awesome and it's not. Even though it seems long, it doesn't sound like a lot of hard work. You know like nobody wants more work, especially when they're going to bed, right, so that sounds really easy, I must say. Bijoy John: 16:08 Less is better for sleep, not complicated, because the power is within ourselves. We can do it. I want to harness our own energy, but this is a process, it's an art. It's like I tell people it's a seven course meal. You don't have to have the steak dinner, even if the first you have to have your music, you have your wine, you have your cheese, you have your salad, you have appetizers. It's a process, but once you discover that, though, you know you are great, you are beginning to enjoy a lot. J. Rosemarie : 16:40

Okay, all right, thank you. We appreciate that and I am going to put that in the show notes for people to see it, along with the link to your website. So I appreciate that. So what is Bejoy grateful for today?

Bijoy John: 16:53 So I'm grateful for the power of sleep. J. Rosemarie : 16:56

I had a great night's sleep. Bijoy John: 16:56 I slept for seven hours and I woke up, worked out, did two other podcasts, finish my little bit of writing, and then I'm able to rule and capture the world. I'm ready to go play and around golf here, so, so, so I'm grateful for life. I'm grateful that I've discovered this art of sleep and I'm grateful that I'm able to talk to you and then, and you know, I share this message with all your viewers and the rest of the world.

J. Rosemarie : 17:26 Okay, thank you. So, before I let you go, I really appreciate you coming and talking to us, and this topic is very important to solar mumps. I want to ask you because I know I have friends who can disclose their eyes and go to sleep Right, and they don't have, you know, a sleep sickness, so to speak, and there's people like me who could lay awake all night. I'm tired as anything, but once I lay down I Can't sleep. Um, is there a like a an underlying thread that you could generalize as to why that is?

Bijoy John: 18:03 Big question. Remember, you need to follow the schedule, you know. So you need to change your time later and try to sleep six hours in bed. That's it. You're, you're, you're laying in bed, time in bed is probably nine and time of sleep is probably three. So there's a huge gap. Nine hours, You're struggling, six hours, three hours sleep. So you should restrict that to six hours. You know 12 to six, and then you move that backwards. So when I see somebody like you or any other person, first thing I ask them is there a medical reason, is there a psychological reason, or there is a sleep disorder, or is it just insomnia cannot sleep. So first thing is you have a breathing problem, your heart problem, you have diabetes problem, because those things do affect your quality sleep. Or you if you have pain problem, so pain affects the sleep. The next is you have psychological problem if you have anxiety and depression. So If you ask me one thing that is affecting most people don't sleep, underlying anxiety and depression, because anxiety, depression versus sleep, sleep versus anxiety and depression. So it's a vicious cycle. So if you ask me about you, my kinics, every person of the people who have insomnia eggs have an underlying anxiety or depression problem. And there are other medical reasons like thyroid problem, menopause, you know, and that can you know, change your hormones. You're in a hyped up state so you might want to check all that too. And then some people have, you know, aching in their legs. They can sleep, it's restless legs and it's a simple thing. It is due to deficiency of iron. So you can, you know, you know, resolve that. And then the third thing is sleep disorder. Sleep, I mean, is one major thing, because when you have an acne at the brain wakes you up, it's not letting you go to deep sleep. So you could have, you know, sleep apnea or you could be moving your limbs lots, well, limit disorder, so you could be a sleep problem. So this is how I approach answer If you have a medical problem, you have a psychological problem, or if you have a sleep problem or if you're just insomnia. So you go through this list, find out the things that I told, and then you know If you have those things. You have to address that and then you have to work on it. After the end of all this, you say I don't have anything. I've got pure clear cuts. Insomnia I tell people to follow the sleep now. J. Rosemarie : 20:27 All right, thank you. So eating, sleeping is as necessary as eating. I'm probably more so. So if you can't sleep, some things wrong. Right, you got, you got me started on that.

Bijoy John: 20:38 So you know, sleep is a foundation on which Diet and fitness is built on. You know, this is that basic law. So just because, if you really don't sleep, well, guess what happens you have more time. In the more time, what do people do you tend to eat and what do you do People do you tend to eat. And when you're tired you make the wrong choices. You eat high glycemic food and that's one affect your sleep. And also you know the altar's, the left and and Brellen ratio. You know the left end is the one that lowers appetite. Brellen increases the appetite when you don't sleep well. The ratios of altering you have less and more of a. You gain weight. So that's why shift workers are you know. You know you virtually have more weight problems because they have more time. You know they're more up, more than the regular. So so that's where we are. So sleep is important. I think it's more important than diet, because that you know when you sleep well, you have more energy to focus on. J. Rosemarie : 21:37 Yeah, yeah, all right, thank you. I appreciate you coming in talking to us today, bejoyed John, and I hope you'll come back some other time and talk about Sleep and anything else that you could share with us. Bijoy John: 21:51 Thank you. It was really a nice talk, jen. Thanks for your time, and my message to everyone is sleep well, be well and let's go sleeping. J. Rosemarie : 22:00 Yeah, thank you.