Let Go! Empower Your Teen For College Success w/Dr. Pamela Ellis

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (00:00.142)

It depends how good I look. I'm just...

Dr. Pamela Ellis (00:05.414)

Jan.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (00:10.924)

It's both.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (00:17.998)

Okay, ready?

Dr. Pamela Ellis (00:19.32)

Mm -hmm.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (00:21.016)

My guest today is Dr. Pamela Ellis, doctor, CEO, and mom. Welcome, Dr. Pamela.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (00:29.486)

Thank you. Hello. I really am excited to join you today. Yeah.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (00:35.208)

Yes, thank you for coming and talking to us in Solomon's talk.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (00:40.142)

Yes, absolutely, absolutely.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (00:43.928)

So before we get into what you do, could you tell us who is Pamela Ellis?

Dr. Pamela Ellis (00:50.304)

Absolutely. Absolutely. So you know how many moms struggle with feeling overwhelmed with preparing their team for college and just not knowing where to start? Well, what I do is I partner with those busy moms to help them help their team find a college that feels like home without overpaying.

is what I do. And we give them a clear roadmap to success in terms of just what to do step by step. And the results of our work has been that 95 % of their teams have been admitted to their top choice colleges and received an average of $75 ,000 in scholarships. And so one of my moms, Joy, who's a solo mom,

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (01:35.084)

Hmm

Dr. Pamela Ellis (01:46.718)

She actually had a son and in working with her, she had a very demanding corporate career. And so with our guidance, she was able to save countless hours and also be assured that he would launch successfully and be empowered to make the decision around college. And one of the biggest things, Jen, was just facilitating for her

what the process would look like to let go because that you know is probably one of the biggest challenges is letting go and so enough about me for just one second I do want to acknowledge you and just say thank you again so much for having me on your show and for those who of you who are listening as I have listened to several episodes

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (02:19.341)

Hmm

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (02:26.092)

Yeah.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (02:44.27)

You're just really lucky to have Jan as your host because she just gives so generously. And so to all of you who are listening wherever you are, I wanna make sure you do go ahead and give the show a five -star rating. And so thank you so much, Jan. Thank you so much.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (03:03.221)

thank you. Thank you, Dr. Pamela. I appreciate that. Now, there are two things I want to address in what you said. And one of them is the letting go part. And you can envision a solo mom who's raised her children and now the child, you know, it's time for them to go to go off to college, most likely.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (03:19.448)

Yeah.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (03:25.113)

Mm -hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (03:30.382)

Yeah. Yeah. Mm -hmm.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (03:32.958)

and she hanging onto the suitcase or trying to follow them, right? So, us some input on how to let go, really, because that let go process is gonna start maybe from high school, right?

Dr. Pamela Ellis (03:38.017)

Yeah.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (03:44.954)

Mm -hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (03:52.652)

It really does because, you know, quite frankly, you start, you know, sensing already that it's going to be very soon that they're leaving. And one of the things that I often suggest is starting to have dates with yourself and making sure that not everything is always about the team.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (04:14.318)

Mmm.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (04:20.113)

Mm

Dr. Pamela Ellis (04:20.186)

And that's something that even myself as a solo mom had to also do. Because after my divorce and no longer having that identity as a wife, it was still a challenge to not be as wrapped up in my kids as well and trying to live their life, but also recognizing that there things I need to still do.

for me and doing them just for me without feeling guilty because I think as moms, oftentimes carry guilt that, you know, it has to be all about the kids. Yes.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (04:52.417)

Yes.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (05:00.736)

Yes, definitely. Yeah, for sure. And that is probably the biggest problem with us letting them go off to college because we're just too invested in them, right? And we feel they need us. Yeah.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (05:09.313)

Yeah.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (05:13.836)

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And even with, you know, the whole college process, even, you know, letting them own the process is something that we talk a lot about in our program, that it's the team who owns it. And, you know, as moms, as much as we may want to, you know, do it for them, in a sense, when we let go, it empowers them.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (05:25.068)

Hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (05:41.664)

And I think it gives us that extra measure of assurance that yes, when they do leave, they're going to be okay. They're going to be okay. Because if we're doing all the enabling and doing it for them while they're in high school, I think not only can we risk them resenting us or resenting the fact that we did that, but just also that they won't be able to launch.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (05:41.933)

Yeah.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (05:50.082)

Yes.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (06:06.884)

successfully and thrive because they don't know how to do things independently. Yeah.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (06:09.089)

Yes.

Right, yeah, pretty much so. I'm gonna touch on that a little bit later on, but I also wanna talk about, you're a mom and you're raising these children and they wanna go to college and maybe that's what you want for them as well. What is the first thought process in that, especially if you don't have money?

Dr. Pamela Ellis (06:15.992)

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (06:24.474)

Mm

Dr. Pamela Ellis (06:38.442)

my goodness. I think the first thought process is what's going to be best for them. And I know that may sound like, you know, the obvious, but oftentimes I think that when we think about college, we're so focused on the college, the brand name, as opposed to what's going to be best for my child. And so,

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (06:48.172)

Hmm.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (06:59.875)

Mm

Dr. Pamela Ellis (07:06.464)

If we think about that, then that leads us to looking at the college landscape differently. And so for some kids, it's about being in a place where they can still have community, build relationships with others, perhaps have relationships with professors as well in terms of doing research or even having the classroom experience where they feel

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (07:13.837)

Mm -hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (07:35.578)

seen and heard. And so that's going to bring up a totally different thought around the colleges that would be a good fit versus if they're more pre -professional, you know, and thinking about I need this because I want to do a particular career, then that also brings up a different set of colleges. And regardless of the college, one thing I love to make sure that moms know is that

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (07:36.845)

Yeah.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (07:45.281)

Mm -hmm, mm -hmm.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (07:54.082)

All right.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (07:57.782)

Right.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (08:05.882)

only about 20 % of families are full pay.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (08:12.407)

Hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (08:13.658)

And so when you look at those numbers online, those sticker prices, know, I mean, very few people are paying that. And so it's easy to be part of that 80%, that 80 % who are getting monies for college and able to, you know, do it in such a way that their child also doesn't come out with a lot of debt or that they come out with a lot of debt.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (08:17.346)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (08:22.882)

Yes. Yeah.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (08:29.166)

Yeah.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (08:43.32)

themselves. And so there are just so many opportunities out there as well as several colleges that could be a great fit for their team. And it's not about a single brand name college that has a big sticker or a big name that has to be the only college that they can seek.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (08:43.753)

Right, right.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (08:54.178)

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (09:05.982)

Right, right. Yeah, and I think sometimes though that maybe we instill our own fears into the process and maybe that, you know, if we could handle that a little better, can you expand on that for us?

Dr. Pamela Ellis (09:07.321)

Mm -hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (09:15.972)

We do. Yes.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (09:25.89)

my goodness, absolutely. Because that's something that I often talk with moms about is the role that their own backstory plays in terms of where their child even ends up going to college. One of the questions that we ask during our initial process is asking the mom, you know,

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (09:38.84)

Mm -hmm

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (09:46.072)

Mm -hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (09:55.066)

what was her experience in high school and how she came to decide what she would do after high school. And that speaks volumes. It speaks volumes, Jen, because in so many cases, you know, if the mom has had a particular experience with the guidance, with the school counselor, you know, that oftentimes will shape.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (10:19.394)

Mm -hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (10:22.372)

her child's experience with the school counselor, even if it's a totally different school type. And so I do talk very candidly about just how their own backstory influences their kids' decisions and even the mindset as well. So if you actually say, my kid isn't gonna get any money for college, you know something, you're right, they won't.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (10:29.72)

Bye.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (10:51.906)

Because you're going to be taking those steps that's going to lead to that result the moment you speak it. And so we do talk about that just to make sure that moms are aware and very conscious of it in terms of even things like test scores. They'll say things like, my kid is not a good test taker.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (11:17.461)

Yes.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (11:21.892)

or they're not a good writer. And we say, hey, when you come into this session, you are a great writer. And even if your test scores don't reflect your best, you don't have to submit them. So no worries, no worries, because we want every student to build their confidence throughout our program. And that's the key thing that's going to support them.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (11:39.402)

Right, right.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (11:48.919)

Right.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (11:49.89)

And we're partnering with the mom to also ensure that they're reinforcing that so that they do have the confidence.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (11:56.66)

Right. Yes. Okay. All right. I appreciate that. And following up on that, can you walk us through the process on how you help moms and as an extension help kids with getting into college and getting financing for college?

Dr. Pamela Ellis (12:01.208)

Yeah. Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (12:09.583)

Yeah.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (12:17.172)

Absolutely, absolutely. So we have programs that are every grade year of high school. And it's a combination of both meetings with the students one to one and also family meetings. And that's to really make sure that the mom and the student are on the same page as we're working together. And with that,

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (12:41.901)

Hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (12:46.842)

process, you know, it's, you know, developing their application portfolio. So everything that they'll be submitting, developing the right list of colleges, which always starts with the student. And then we coach them on writing essays as well that will help them to stand out. And with the parents along with the student as well is the financial aid process.

Because oftentimes what moms may not know is that that application starts with the student. So it's the student who authorizes the mom to input her information for the financial aid. Because once the student is in college, they continue to get the financial aid information and to lead that process. And so we work with both in terms of

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (13:27.661)

Right.

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (13:38.222)

right.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (13:43.707)

the financial aid piece and for scholarships, our students primarily get monies directly from the colleges and we focus it almost exclusively sometimes on that list so that they can have the opportunities for the most amount of money. So when I talked at the outset about 75 ,000,

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (14:04.558)

Mm -hmm.

Dr. Pamela Ellis (14:09.834)

is the average for scholarships that students receive that comes directly from the colleges. When they're applying for outside scholarships, we will work with them on their essays to apply to those outside scholarships. But because most of our students that we work with don't qualify for need -based aid, we focus on the list because they can get money from colleges even if they do. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (14:17.015) Okay. Dr. Pamela Ellis (14:38.894) their parents do make a lot of money. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (14:39.082) right right yeah that makes sense okay and tell us how we can get in touch with you Dr. Pamela Ellis (14:48.83) Absolutely how you can get in touch with me. Well, one of the things that, you know, I certainly want to do is something special for your audience since they all stayed to the very end of the episode. And what I'm about to share is something that they're not going to be able to find anywhere else online. And what is called is the College Success Blueprint. And J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (15:10.189) Okay. Dr. Pamela Ellis (15:18.318) What this will do is help moms learn step by step how to help their team with getting into their dream colleges without all the stress, overwhelm, and guesswork that typically comes with it. And the other thing that's included in the blueprint is also a communication guide so that they're not always having to talk about college. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (15:32.493) Hmm. Dr. Pamela Ellis (15:42.778) And if they want to get this for absolutely free of charge, I invite them to send the word BLUEPRINT 25. And where I am most located is on LinkedIn at Dr. Pamela Ellis, D -R Pamela, P -A -E -L -A Ellis, E -L -L -I -S. And so that's where. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (15:42.957) Right. Dr. Pamela Ellis (16:10.586) they can reach me and when they send the word blueprint 25, I'll personally send it over to them. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (16:18.28) that's awesome. And so I will, put the LinkedIn link in a show notes so people can connect from there. Yeah, that's awesome. Now, you think you were finished, didn't you? Dr. Pamela Ellis (16:22.872) Yes, thank you. That'll be great. Thank you. I'm not, right? J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (16:35.022) So I wanted to touch on the solo moms, the solo moms status, because as you know, this is a show directly geared to solo moms and our stories can always help another solo mom. So if you could briefly explain as much as, as little as you want, how did you become a solo mom and what was your biggest struggle? Dr. Pamela Ellis (16:41.934) Mm Dr. Pamela Ellis (16:50.158) Mm -hmm. Yeah. Dr. Pamela Ellis (16:58.201) Mm Dr. Pamela Ellis (17:06.715) Well, there were a couple occasions when I was a solo mom. So a solo mom through us living in separate cities, we had a commuter marriage at some point through career choices. So my spouse at the time was working in another city across the country. And so at that point I was indeed a solo mom. And then on the second time around it was through divorce. Yep. And so, you know, just to share, you know, candidly, because I have spoken about this in other venues is, you know, part of it was being an entrepreneur. And some of the challenges that come

J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (17:40.566) Okay, all right, okay. Dr. Pamela Ellis (17:58.594) when you're trying to run a household and one spouse has decided to start their own business and the other one, you know, isn't necessarily on board with that. And so that's challenging because you know, as an entrepreneur, especially starting out, there's always those financial ups and downs. So yeah. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (18:06.658) Mm -hmm. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (18:21.824) Yes, yes, yes. Okay, thank you for sharing. And what is Dr. Pamela Gratul for today? Dr. Pamela Ellis (18:27.032) Yeah, you're welcome. What am I what grateful for today? my goodness, so much. I'm grateful that I still have an opportunity to have my own business. I'm grateful for being able to graduate from an entrepreneurship program today and that's going to be fun. I'm just grateful for some of the simple things like just having a puppy. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (18:34.072) Yeah. Dr. Pamela Ellis (19:02.275) which is something I've never had before and it's the first time and those are some of the simple things that I'm just grateful for. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (19:02.732) Yeah. Aww. Yeah. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (19:13.356) We appreciate you, Dr. Pamela Ellis, for coming and talking to us today on Solo Mom's Talk. Give a solo mom one piece of advice as a parting shot. Dr. Pamela Ellis (19:14.948) Yeah. Dr. Pamela Ellis (19:18.372) Yeah, you're welcome. Dr. Pamela Ellis (19:25.138) wow. Continue to make those appointments with yourself and on a weekly basis, just doing something for you and not feeling any guilt about it. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (19:41.962) Amen, awesome. Thank you, I appreciate you. Dr. Pamela Ellis (19:43.16) Mm -hmm. Yeah. I appreciate you, Jan. Thank you so much. J. Rosemarie Francis (Jenn) (19:47.95) Okay, thank you.