Manage Stress: Declutter Mind, People & Spaces w/J. Rosemarie Francis

Jennifer Francis (00:00.046)

Hello there, solo moms. I recently was reading Jack Canfield's book, Success Principles. And one of the things that's sticking out for me right now is his position that how we react to circumstances and situations determines the outcome. And I can totally relate to that. And it really connects with this week's episode on stress management that I wanted to talk to you about.

because so many times I remember when my kids were younger, my actions and reactions to my situation usually didn't bring the best outcome. As a matter of fact, it usually increased my stress level and put me in a situation where I made unwise decisions. And so I hope this episode resonate with you and I hope this thought that how you react to the situation is sometimes

what generates the outcome. And usually it generates an undesired outcome. Thank you for listening.

Jennifer Francis (01:24.781)

So when this

So I've been focusing a lot lately on stress and overwhelm. And the reason for that is that I spent six months, first of all, first I spent three months in London, my cousin died, and I came back to the US and went back to London and spent another six months. And during this back and forth, they were last year, between last year and this year, there were like four deaths.

in my family and with this back and forth and dealing with family drama and podcasting at the same time, I really became burnt out. I was stressed and I was at times, I just laid in my bed and just wouldn't move because I was so overwhelmed with all the different things that was going on. And so being back, I've been thinking and writing a lot about

managing stress and organizing myself so that I don't get into this space where I'm burnt out and stress all the time. An organization is not just a physical thing where you move things in their right place. Organization is organizing your thoughts, your mindset so that your thought process is in order. So I wanted to

do this as a solo episode today because all of this is on my mind. And stress is one of those things that plague solo moms. It plagues us when we have money and it plagues us when we don't have money. Because when you're dealing with the lives of other humans, when you're in charge and responsible for the lives of other humans, it could be stressful.

Jennifer Francis (03:26.132)

it could be stressful because you had to put your dreams on the back burner. And no matter how much you love your children, that those dreams are always going to niggle at the edge of your mind. So, so all these things can bring stress and cause you to feel overwhelmed. And I believe that even if you are just rearranging your bedroom,

it can help you with some of that stress level, right? So I just wanted to talk about stress today and how impactful organizing not only your thought, but your workspace and your life, your living space, how impactful doing some personal organization can help you manage stress. Because

Let's face it, being a solo mom involves a lot of juggling and it involves a lot of balls in the air. And I know you don't even have to be a solo mom to have all these issues, but I'm speaking directly to you solo moms about this mindset that it's normal to be stressed out. Don't accept it because there are ways and they're easy and

to lower those stress level and to lower those angst that comes with dealing with all these multiple responsibilities on a daily basis. So I've written a couple of articles on my website, jrosemarie.com. It's called Empowering Solar Moms. And on that site, there are multiple

multiple ways that multiple articles that are written of the ways you can help to manage stress you things and exercises and tips and strategies for lowering stress and keeping your stress at a decent level. Now, of course, if you're chronically overwhelmed and stressed out, it might help you to go talk to someone, a doctor or a therapist.

Jennifer Francis (05:55.412)

and just get another level of help that you need to manage. And there's nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. It's a good thing for you to do. can help you put your life into perspective. And because sometimes as a solo mom, know, I remember there were times it seems like the whole world was falling on top of my head. Really and truly.

The whole world wasn't falling, but my world felt like it was falling. some, someone else can, you know, can shine a light on your situation and help you put your, your personal life in perspective. So don't, don't shy away from, you know, seeing a therapist. Now, if that's not something you can afford, check if you have a full-time job check.

to see if your workplace have free services that can help you. I remember when I was working my job at EAP, employee assistance program, and I could see a therapist for free, a limited number of times, but you actually got to talk to a professional. so check your workplace to see if they have that in play. Another thing you could do if you belong to a church that would support

with a supportive community, supportive members, is try to find somebody reliable you can speak with, someone who won't blabber your information all over town. So that's something you will have to be wise about and just always remember that you're not alone and there's help available. Now, I do have an interview that may help you.

with Nicole Gabai, G-A-B-A-I, and she talks about different ways you can organize your home and your mindset to declutter your life. That episode might help you if you have the time to listen when you're at work or any other time while you're doing the laundry.

Jennifer Francis (08:22.158)

The title of the podcast is How to Escape Chaos by Decluttering Your Life. And I think it's an interesting topic that have a lot of tips that you could use. And it's season six, episode 27. I'm actually gonna rearrange this podcast so that everything runs in sequence and there's no season. So it's actually easier for you to find these episodes.

So check that episode out with Nicole Gabai and see if it can help you to, you know, with any of those tips can help you to lower your stress level. Okay. The other thing I want you to look at is that I'm right now running a stress management 21 day challenge. It's an easy thing to do, I believe. And all you do if you sign up for this challenge, I'll put the link below so you could,

do that, it's free, there's no charge. The only thing that will involve from you is receiving those daily emails to remind you and help you to do something every day to focus, to turn in and focus on reducing that stress in your life. So I hope that you would take me upon the challenge and learn ways, learn tips

on how to lower your stress. Because sometimes it's not that we don't know, it's just that we don't take the time to do the things that we need to do to lower those stress level. And I mean, it can be as simple as sitting in your car at a traffic light. And rather than thinking about the million things that are coming at you, if you just breathe deeply, deep into your stomach,

Breathe in and pushing your stomach out and then pulling back in. Just breathe deeply and do it two or three times. And that will help you a lot. It will help you to feel better. So simple things like deep breathing. You don't have to make an appointment with yourself or reserve a room. You can just do that, sit in your car, the stop light. Or you're standing at the

Jennifer Francis (10:48.002)

the sink washing the dishes and the kids are driving your bananas, been there, just close your eyes, deep breathe, do a couple of breaths for a few minutes and you will be amazed at how useful that is in your daily life, all right? The other thing I want to ask you to do is don't feel guilty about

asking the kids to help around the house, right? They make a mess, they can clean it. You know, they can put away their toys and don't feel guilty about that. You know, I did for the longest time. My kids wanted to do things around the house and you know, my middle son wanted to cook. I didn't want him near the stove because I didn't want him getting burnt. It's all these silly things that goes through a mom's head when

They really should, you really should allow them to take responsibility for certain things. You know, the little girls can put away their toys when they finish it. The little boys can put away their toys when they finish it and show them how clean and neat the floor is when they move it and explain to them how pleased you are that they were able to do that. And so don't be afraid to delegate.

to those little chores that they're annoying, but don't fall into the trap of always doing everything for them. Give them those little things to do, which helps you, because you're not walking on plastic toys, and it's not annoying you. And your clean environment is really good for your mental space. So just remember that. That's actually proven. That's not even me talking.

Okay. And so I ask you to do that. The other, I want to talk about decluttering a little bit because a lot of times we think that decluttering mean put stuff in the closet or clean out the closet. And it's not necessarily that. Decluttering can also mean to stop carrying certain people around with you. You know, there are certain people in your life who clutters up your life with their angst, their mess, their stories, their

Jennifer Francis (13:12.27)

and you clutter your life with that and nothing causes more stress than the people you have in your life and claim to love you or you love them and all they bring to you is clutter. So find a way to declutter your mind and declutter your life and declutter your space. So I believe that the Stress Management 21 Day Chant

challenge can help you focus on doing things like that and help you to just get away from this constant chronic things and events that causing all this stress in your life. And don't forget to ask for help. Please ask for help. Ask someone for help and not someone who's going to denigrate you and put you down, but somebody who you know is reliable and you can ask.

every once in a while for help because asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you want to be strong. And I'm quoting my friend, Mr. Sharma, who made this quote on a recent episode of this podcast. So do yourself a favor and ask for help if you feel you need it. And again, reach out, join the challenge.

and get rid of that stress, man. It's too much. It's a lot, I know, because when you're burnt out, your brain is numb and you are totally unable to cope. And, you know, some people can cry and break down, but I'm gonna tell you, one day I was in the middle of stress, so much stress.

And I was walking on the street and I was talking and I had to call my friend because it was bad. I was in a bad state and it's probably the worst state I've been in. And you know, I was telling her that I felt so bad that I wish I had a way to end it. And this is how bad I felt. But I am grateful that I have people like that to call and they could

Jennifer Francis (15:36.408)

call me out on my mess and say to me, no, you can't do that. And she taught different, tell me different things I've said in the past because I really don't believe in those things. But when you're overwhelmed and stressed out and you don't address those stress, your mind start conjuring up stuff and your mouth starts spewing out mess. And so if you have someone you could call and talk to,

someone who you could be vulnerable with. It helps. It helps a lot. Thank you, my friend. And thank you for talking me down off that ledge, because I was high up on that ledge. And we all need somebody like that in our lives. And when all else fails, take the Stress Management 21 Day Challenge, and that might help you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. I appreciate you. I'm J. Rose Marie.