Solo Moms Connect: Strength Through A Safe & Supportive Community w/J. Rosemarie Francis

J. Rosemarie Francis (00:00.046)

We're coming up to the busiest time of the year. It's when some of us get together with family and loved ones, but there those of us who don't have that opportunity to be around others. And even when we're around others, we still feel isolated, abandoned, and alone. So I invite you to listen to this episode and join me.

in this journey and discover you're not alone and you don't have to parent in silence.

my kids were younger, I yearned for company, for someone I could talk to and someone I could just resonate with. They could talk about what's going on with them and I could talk about what's going on with me. Because many times when we have or going through stuff, it's not that we are seeking help. We just want to be able to talk through, scream, yell.

you know, ruminate about what's going on with us. And so that's basically why I started Solar Moms Talk. I also found out that many solar moms like myself was looking for connection. They, they wanted to be a part of a group. But one of the things that deter many solar moms from being a part of a community or a group is one, a feeling

of low self-esteem. They don't feel like they want to expose themselves to other people. And another one is what I see on social media quite a bit. Cruel people who say cruel things. People who are not wise enough to control what they say. And I think that is of great disservice to

J. Rosemarie Francis (02:22.87)

a mom who is raising her children alone and just looking for an outlet, a safe place to ask questions or just to talk. Right. And so that's one of the reasons why that wherever I go, I start a meetup group for solar moms. And I always call it solar moms connect because I want it to be a place where we connect.

in a meaningful way, not just, you know, we meet once in a while and, you we talk and we're done. But where you can ask questions, you can get another person's perspective, and maybe even you can find resources to help you with whatever situation you're going through. So let me give you a couple of examples of past.

solar mom's meetup we've had. In one episode, one meeting, I remember there was a young lady, she had a two week old baby and she was also going through a divorce. This was in the middle of the pandemic. So imagine that. And she was feeling alone, but she was scared and you could tell she was scared.

And there were several solo moms who, divorced moms, who were on the call, on the meetup, we were meeting over Zoom at the time, who had gone through raising children on their own. And so we listened to her talk, she asked questions, and we didn't tell her what to do because that's not the goal. What we did was talk about our own experiences.

And she asked how we managed in certain circumstances and we replied with our own experiences. And she was able to get, gain some perspective and realize that, yeah, she could do it. She was going through this divorce and it looked like it was inevitable. And so she had to transform her mind to think that now she was going to be a solo mom. And so that meetup helped her to really

J. Rosemarie Francis (04:37.327)

gain the perspective she needed instead of feeling scared is to move on to finding solutions for her and her young child. Another example I want to give is another woman, she had a seven year old son, but her reason for being at the meetup is that she was having problems dating. However, and I did have someone there who was experienced in counseling Solomon.

to talk to her about dating because it wasn't really my expertise at the time. But what I was able to help her with was that she complained that her son's father wasn't very involved in her son's life. She was concerned about her son. He was only seven, but there was no real male role model. Fortunately, I had to get a

mentor for my youngest son because at the time I was going through so much as a solo mom, as a working solo mom in a new city, New York City, I went and found him a mentor because I realized that he needed the guidance of a man, of a father figure. And in this case, I went to the church and the youth minister

One of the youth minister took him under his wings and it's been through maybe 10, 15 years, they're still friends. So I was able to help, I was able to tell my story to this young lady and she realized that there was another option. You know, instead of fighting with her son's dad about when to come, how to come and all of that, she could get a responsible adult.

male adult who could be a mentor to her young son. So that's the kind of things that solo moms meet, solo moms connect, can do, does do, will do. And those are the things that I expect it to do is to answer those pertinent questions without leading people to do what we want, but help you as a solo mom.

J. Rosemarie Francis (07:03.985)

to find your own solution based on what you hear. The other thing I want to talk about in this meetup on an ongoing basis is goal setting because I realize a lot of times that we want things, but we don't set goals. don't consciously set goals. We just wish for stuff. And there are many, many

many successful individuals who set goals. And the reason for their success is that they write those goals down. And I have examples of it in my own personal life, but there's so many individuals who've done this and a goal that's not written down, you know, it's just a dream. You're just dreaming and hoping and wishing that things happen. So this is a big thing for me.

And whatever it is you going through, you can find a way to make a goal to come up with the solution. Because you're the only one who can come up with the solution. No one can. But Solo Moms Connect can be the incubator, the mastermind, the group, the community that help you focus on those goals so you can achieve them.

And so as we come to the end, the ending of this year, boy, I can't believe it, can you? I realized that there is still that need for connection. But I want to reestablish Solomoms Connect, but not the way groups are, not the way communities are, you know, like on Facebook or the different

places that people meet. I want this to be a meaningful place for you, solo mom, to be able to gain perspective on your own life, a place for growth and self-development and a place where you can feel safe. You know, I remember when I was going to church in Brooklyn and they had a discovery group called Be Transformed.

J. Rosemarie Francis (09:28.749)

And though it was Bible based, it was very useful to anyone who wanted to do some self discovery. And I found that it was a great place because people were safely allowed to say what they want to say. And we weren't allowed to repeat what we heard outside the group. And that to me,

is a safe space for solar moms to talk, to have discussions, to really get solutions and not for somebody to tell you what to do, but for you to gain the wisdom, knowledge and understanding you need so you can arrive at the solution that works for you and your family.

So if this kind of group community mastermind, if you will, interests you, if it resonates with you, I want to invite you to come along. I have a link below that I'd like you to just put your first name and your email address, and if you want your phone number, but you don't have to.

And let us connect, let us come together because there are many solo moms who are still out there lonely, alone, even with a big family. Even some of them are even married, but they're alone in their journey of raising their children, of being a human being that God loves and unable to live a life that fulfills them.

And sometimes we don't create the place we are a lot of times. Yes, sometimes it's a result of the decisions we make, but still we find ourselves in a place that we had no idea we'd be. I never planned to be a solo mom, a divorced mom. I never wanted to raise my kids in a broken home.

J. Rosemarie Francis (11:54.257)

But it happens, know, husbands die and some of them don't work. They're broken and they don't work. And so as mom, you kind of take up the mantle and raise your children because you love them. But you yourself as a human being, as a child of God, need a place to self-reflect.

You need a place, a safe place to be you. And many times, you are overshadowed by the chaos of raising children that you hadn't planned to raise alone, right? So it's not that raising them is a problem, it's that you...

I hadn't planned this journey, but maybe you did. Maybe you wanted to be a single mom. How are you coping being a single mom? Because that's not the way life was designed. That's not the way God designed us to be, but here we are. And so if you're one of these women, moms like me, who raise your children, chose to stay,

and fight for your children and make sure that they have the life that you didn't have and they deserve, join me in Solomons Connect. Let's get this mastermind off the ground again. It is free to join. I'm not selling anything. And I just have

just had this burden on my heart since 2010 to be honest, because that's when I started to think about solo moms talk. I started to wonder what could be done for solo moms with solo moms who cannot find peace, who cannot find a place where they can talk without guilt.

J. Rosemarie Francis (14:19.173)

They can meet without feeling like they're less than. So yes, I wanna reestablish that community where you, wherever you are in this world, can join this online group. We can meet once a week or once a month, whatever works. And we can talk about different things that are going on.

with us.

So hit the link below and join Solo Moms Connect. Let's connect, let's build this so that moms who are parenting alone do not feel like they're alone because they're not. I'm J. Rosemarie, thank you.