Who Will You Love This Valentine's Day? w/J. Rosemarie Francis

J. Rosemarie Francis (00:00)

Hi, Solo Mom. Are you preparing for Valentine's or are you getting ready for Galentine's?

What if instead of looking for love, we dig deep within to start to finally love ourselves? Hi, I am encouraged by Valentine's Day and all the love we want to share for that one day. But I'm reminded that as solo moms, we tend to love everyone else.

except for ourselves. And then we can get out of sorts when, and rightly so, I might add, when we are mistreated by those we love, whether it's a parent or an ex or even our very children. But I want to encourage you today, solo mom, as we approach Valentine's Day. You know, I remember when

I was raising my children solo when they were younger. And there were times when I got that twinge, you know, that twinge of loneliness. And when I see roses, because I love roses, and I see people getting roses from somebody who loves them, you know, boyfriend, husband, whatever.

And I'm not gonna lie, there were times when I felt envy and jealous, but I learned that when you love yourself, when you find yourself enjoying your own company, when you get to that place where it doesn't matter how, it doesn't matter what other people do, you are still in the moment of self-love and enjoying your own company.

So I'm not saying that you shouldn't desire the love of a man. I'm not saying that you shouldn't want to be with somebody. I am just saying, if you aren't able to be with you, love you, then it's gonna be very difficult for you to be with someone else, no matter what.

or how much you think they love you. I have decided that, and it's happened for almost 20 years, I haven't had a Valentine. And I am quite comfortable with that. At first I wasn't, admittedly, but right now I'm very comfortable with that. And I'm asking you, I'm going to go into a series about self-love.

on the solo mom stock ecosystem. Because I think it's very important. It's a very important topic to talk about. And I'm not talking about self love in a selfish kind of way where you put everybody, you put your needs and desires on want above everybody else's. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a simple thing like the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. How do you love your neighbor?

if you don't love yourself? And how can you tell if you love yourself or not? And on that note, I'd like to offer you a free ebook, 21 Bible Verses on Love. These verses are, some are familiar, some are not, but they're words that bring comfort, comfort and reassurance of God's love towards us. So if this is something that you think you might like,

Click the link below and download a free version of this ebook. Thank you. Let me start with pointing out three different things, like three things that may demonstrate your love or lack of love for yourself. Number one, negative self-talk. How do you talk to yourself? What words do you use to you? What words, when you look in the mirror,

What words do you use to describe yourself? When you make a mistake, what words do you use? When you make a mistake, when you do something wrong, acknowledge it, yes, but don't beat up on yourself and don't talk negatively to yourself because your brain will absorb those words. As a man think it, so even if you are thinking it, your psyche will react to that.

thought process and those words that you're using and those words become reality in your life. You're not stupid. You're not fat. You're not that. Find ways to describe what you're going through, how you're feeling, the mistakes you made. Okay. So maybe I could have done that differently, right? Okay. So let's see how I could have done that differently and move on. The second way is

to let others describe and determine who you are as a person. You you let their words kill you. You know, the words of your parents, the words of the ex, the words of that so-called best friend, you know, the B word, the S word, all those words that people want to use, throw at you. Don't let it stick, right?

Don't be the doormat. If you place a mat in front of your door, people are gonna assume they need to wipe their feet when they're coming into your house. Don't be that doormat.

And I'm saying that adamantly because I've been a doormat and I've allowed myself to be a doormat and it only makes you miserable. Listen, you're in control. And until you discover, until I discovered that I was in control, it was easy to be somebody else's doormat. Or you think you wanna be nice, you wanna be polite. No, they need to be polite to you.

And I'm going to tell you that when you start showing yourself respect, the love you deserve and the love of the father through you, other people will start to treat you with love and respect and kindness. Well, maybe not kindness, because people are going to be who they're going to be, right? But I'm saying these things to say this, solo mom. It's important to love yourself.

It's necessary to love yourself and in loving your children, loving yourself, allow your children to see that it's okay for you, for mommy, to feel love, to expect love, to get love. Right? That's very important. Whatever we do, we're training our children.

Whatever we don't do, we're training our children because they're watching us. They see what we're doing or not doing. You know, when you come, when I remember when I came home from work, I used hear my children say it because they used to come home from work so tired and depleted and they notice and the words you say at that point, they hear and they connect.

with those words and they connect you with those words and they connect their life with those words. So what are you saying when things were wrong, Solomon? What are you saying about yourself? Love your neighbor as yourself.

starts with you loving yourself. Not a selfish type of love. Not a love where you throw out the, you you treat other people bad so you could feel good. Not that kind, because that's even, that's not even love.

Love yourself to care for yourself, to take care of health, to give yourself grace. know, when things go wrong, even if it's your fault, remember to give yourself grace. And finally, finally, people say things about you, you say things about yourself.

I have one question for you. What does God your Father say about you? I encourage you to find that out, seek that out, ask about that. Because you will find that what he says about you is who you truly are. And if you embrace what he says about you, your life

will be different. Trust me on that. And if you wanna make connection with other solo moms, join Solo Moms Connect because there's nothing better than having people to connect to. But I'm reminding you that this Valentine's Day, don't get down, don't get sad. Find ways to connect with who you are. You connect with you, love yourself. And if you had a date,

I'm telling you now, if you had a date and they let you down or they didn't show up, remember you are important to you. And unless you direct the path, set those boundaries, the wolves are always gonna come in and try to tear you up. I love you, Solar Mom. Thank you for listening.